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 Fuhrer Blog Minimize

April 20, 1940

Dude, it's 4-20!

That's right, it's my birthday! What a day to celebrate. I know my friends didn't do a surprise party, cause I was all mad last year when they got me the rest of Czechoslovakia. I didn't even want it,  I swear. And let's not go into the Saarland, I wish they'd kept the gift receipt on that one, but apparently they were out of zig zags on the way home.

One year Goering got me a set of Bob Marley CD's and that was cool. Or was it Peter Tosh? Either way we were up late with this awesome Hydroponic stuff Himmler had and we took turns doing lip syncing wearing this sweet Rasta hat Heydrich brought. I know, I know, cultural appropriation, but man that Heydrich is a cut up.

So what do my crazy friends have in mind this year?

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 Joe Cool Minimize

Mein Fuhrer, we should road trip it - Amsterdam!

  

 Fuhrer Extreme Minimize

That sounds awesome, but  I get nervous coming back. Remember last time when the border guards searched the car? The only reason they didn't find Himmler's stash was the guy wanted Goering's autograph. Remember when Goering told him it was Snoopy who shot down the Red Baron?

  

 Hermann the German Minimize

I can't believe he fell for that. He must have been high himself. You know those bastards just live to confiscate your stuff. Mein Fuhrer we could just fly and not worry about it. I can get us past customs at any airport in the Reich. I'll just call Student and see when we can get a flight. They might be booked until May, but we can drop in on Rotterdam and get bombed. I'm talking laid out flat.

  

 Fuhrer Extreme Minimize

Great idea, remember to save enough money for brownies at the end of the day. Last time Himmler WAAAY overtipped those strippers in the Red Light District.

  

 Treue Heinrich Minimize

I just appreciate hard work that's all. You try climbing up a pole all day in those little wooden shoes.

  

 Sir Winston Minimize

Himmler, you can give out all the Reichsmarks in the world, but the ladies will never be impressed. I was in that same club later that night, they were still laughing at you douchebags. Anika said she hadn't seen a tip that small since the great depression. And you didn't give them much money either.

  

 Fuhrer Extreme Minimize

That's it, we are going to Amsterdam and teach those people a lesson. Dammit Churchill, why are you still on my friends list? Aren't we at war now, Phony or not? I have got to stop taking any requests late at night after we partied too hard. That's how I got into an alliance with Mussolini.

  

 Adolf Hitler Minimize

Current Mood: Angry, Tired, Anti-Semitic

Currently listening to: Bob Marley

Location: My couch, Berlin

Age: 51

Status: In a Relationship

Orientation: Straight, Aryan

Here for: Friends, World Conquest

Schools: Linz Realschule

Graduated: Not my fault, it was the Jews, I swear it was the Jews, I could have been a great artist if it wasn't for them.

  

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