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 Kaiser's Blog Minimize

Man that Wonder Woman is so Sexist!

Can you believe those Amazons live on an island of all women? We don't need all female organizations, it only divides us and promotes anti-male hatred. We are sick of being the victims here. So I sent some of my boys to clean the place out. God I love the army, all male and all business. That's the way the world ought to be. Women belong in one place (maybe two).

Did someone on the internet call me sexist? I am the least sexist person you've ever met. Not like that horrible Wonder Woman causing me all these problems. If she'd had a man to keep her under control none of this would have happened. I blame the feminist liberal media. Woman warriors, I wouldn't waste a slap from my left arm on them. And btw, there's nothing wrong with this left arm, it's huuuuge!

Just don't believe any thing the fake feminist media tells you. There were no atrocities in Belgium and I certainly didn't help Lenin get back to St. Petersburg. I had nothing to do with that Russian, there was no collusion!


 Lenin Minimize

That's the kind of straightforward thinking I like to see. Perhaps some day we can improve relations between our two countries. Cause you're cool and totally not because we ever colluded or anything. And that arm looks huge.


 Willie Minimize

That would be totally cool, just like we agreed. I'll have my man arrange a meeting with your man somewhere. How about Starbucks? Or Brest-Litovsk?


 Lenin Minimize

Dude, for the thousandth time, private message me. It's not that hard.


 Willie Minimize

Don't worry, I can easily distract the fake news media. #Schnitzelbank. Figure that one out.


 Karl Minimize

We've got to stop with this Russia thing and move on, we've got bigger things to worry about. I don't think this war is going very well, people are starving.


 Willie Minimize

No one is starving, everyone is happy, the fake news media just makes this stuff up, like the Russia thing. So don't go all crazy and start secretly negotiating with the Entente or anything. Yeah, I heard the rumors, I'm watching you. Let's focus on the real enemy - Wonder Woman and other out of control feminists.


 George V Minimize

You are so right my nearly identical cousin. We have a solution in Britain, one horse - one suffragette.


 Emmeline Pankhurst Minimize

That's disgusting. You're not funny. You're all just dated relics of an old boys network that is collapsing around you as you destroy the precious Western Civilization you claim to hold dear.


 Woodrow Wilson Minimize

Now now, miss Pankhurst, there's no need to get hysterical, it's just a little joke. People need to not get offended so easily, that's the real problem. I just watched this fantastic historically accurate film called Birth of a Nation. Now I hear some radicals are getting upset, but most people can just unite behind a good story. That's the kind of calm, measured, rational politics we need. Everyone just calm down and accept the world the way it is. There might be a few problems, but the biggest problem is the loudmouths who complain all the time. Although I did want to bring up something with you Willie, I don't mean to be rude to a straight talking white man who is obviously in charge, but it seems some of our ships have gone missing.


 Wllie Minimize



 Wilhelm II Minimize

Age: 58

Education: University of Bonn

Occupation: Kaiser, Admiral, Field Marshall, Totally Awesome Horse Rider

Relationship status: Married

Goals: Destroy Britain, France, Long Limbed People, Feminism, Sexism and Wonder Woman!

Currently Listening to: The Village People (There's a band that doesn't waste their time singing about chicks. Eulenberg got me onto them back in college.)


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