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 Tricky Dick's Blog Minimize

What a Saturday Night!

I can't believe I had to fire Cox. I only did it because I had to. Wasn't even my idea, it was Bork's. And definitely had nothing to do with the Watergate investigation. I said to myself "This Nixon-Watergate thing, there's nothing there." So I fired him.

This whole "Watergate" thing is fake news, there's nothing there. That's why it should have been stopped early on. Not that I told the CIA to tell the FBI to stop it.  That didn't happen and there are no tapes. And Agnew shouldn't have resigned, he did nothing wrong, it's all fake news. And I didn't use government money for my house in California.

 I am totally not handing over the tapes. Agnew shouldn't of resigned over the few things he did, they weren't that bad. And I didn't use that much government money on my house in California.

There was no Watergate break-in. And there was no secret bombing of Camboida either.


 Ford Minimize

Glad we can put this behind us now that you've assured me nothing wrong happened. I'm glad you're going to cooperate and clear this up fast, just like you promised the press. I look forward to an honest and transparent end to all this so both of us keep our reputations intact.


 Tricky Dick Minimize

Never gonna give them up, never gonna hear those tapes. Hah, you just  got Rickrolled Gerry my boy. Dean better hope I don't have "Tapes" of our conversation if he goes blabbing to the Ervin Committee.


 Kissinger Minimize

Far be it for me to criticize you my Lord, but your blog posts are getting erratic and contradicting the public statements we've been putting out. You seem to be contradicting yourself, I'm sure it's just a matter of interpretation. But we are making great gains in the international arena right now and I don't want anything to tarnish the great image I'm, I mean WE are making.


 Tricky Dick Minimize

Take it easy Jew boy. (That just the kind of cute inside joke we use, and I'm sure it won't be used as evidence of Anti-Semitism by future historians.)  I got this under control, just like that secret bombing of Cambodia I had nothing to do with. Not that it happened, but all those bombs we dropped on Cambodia, I had nothing to do with it. That country has really gone downhill since the days of Jayavarman VII, how sad! How are our relations with Russia doing?


 Brezhnev Minimize

Our relations are quite good Comrade. We are very pleased with what your are doing to, I mean for America. You should get rid of that fake media and get one state run news channel like we have. It always tells the truth, that everything is going fine and I am doing awesome job.


 Tricky Dick Minimize

Yeah that free press is my enemy, that and checks and balances, and the constitution. I can't believe the press knowingly lies by claiming I covered up Watergate. Have they no shame? I wish I could get one network to only say I'm awesome all the time, but it would never happen. You'd have to be one clever fox to come up with something like that.


 Robert H. Bork Minimize

I did as you asked Master, I fired Cox before his investigation went too far. I totally believe in law and order just like you. Now can I be attorney general? How about a supreme court post? I believe we all have to hitch our wagon to you and give you our unconditional support no matter what. I can't see how this could come back to haunt any of us in the future.


 Richard M. Nixon Minimize

Age: 60

Education: Duke Law School (I really know law and order!)

Relationship Status: Married

Currently Listening to: I Fought the Law - The Crickets

Goals: Get out of this Watergate Scandal, not that there's a scandal


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