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 General's Patton's Blog Minimize

December 20th, 1945
It's Time to Talk About Automobile Safety!

I know not everyone wants to hear this, but I have really been through the ringer lately. I don't like to complain, I'm a good soldier, but no one should have to go through what I went through. I survived the two biggest wars in history and what do I get? Sidelined by a simple automobile accident that could have been avoided.

I think we need to get serious about who drives our cars and trucks. We need better licensing and background checks before we let someone take 2 tons of steel down the road at speeds faster than anything seen for most of human history. I'm sure we all appreciate the toll in lives lost and permanent injuries (I know of what I speak.) that happens every year from careless use of these very powerful machines. A little common sense and cooperation would go a long way to making the roads safer for future generations.

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 Henry Ford Minimize

I can't believe you would politicize this tragedy that happened to you. This is not about you, and certainly no time to talk about automobile safety. Any regulations on who drives automobiles is the start of the end of all freedom and American values. How dare you sir! Are you being secretly maniupulated by some small group of international conspirators? Because I find it hard to believe anyone in your state has any other reason to be worried about automobile safety. We must protect our rights, our freedom and our families.

  

 Blood and Guts Minimize

Easy shooter,  I am just talking about a little common sense regulation. No one is going to take away everyone's cars, much less their freedom. I just think we shouldn't all need to drive tanks around to feel safe.

  

 Henry Ford Minimize

Tanks! What a great idea! We could all drive tanks. That would make us all safer. Of course some people might misuse them, but the only thing that stops a bad guy with a tank is a good guy with a tank. Your war record proves that undeniably for all time. And Ford motor company will gladly do its patriotic duty and manufacture these tanks, these beautiful American, Christain tanks. God be praised! A tank in every garage!

  

 Bood and Guts Minimize

What are you talking about? We were just talking about automobile safety and all of a sudden were talking about civilians with tanks? I've seen what military equipment can do and there's no need to give such dangerous tools to civilians. Only a foolish country would ever even consider such a thing.

  

 John Birch Minimize

Did I hear some commie pinko talking about taking away our God-given right to own tanks? What about the constitution? Does freedom and God and Christianity and family mean nothing to people anymore? Did not the founding Fathers say "Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness." Obviously they wanted us to have tanks and thought that was the most important freedom.

  

 Bood and Guts Minimize

I'm sure that's not what the founding Fathers meant by those words. They didn't even have tanks. And what military equipment there was wasn't just handed out to any fool who walked by. But we're getting off topic. I wanted to talk about automobile safety. Lives should come first and we should consider whatever policies are most effective in keeping people safe. We don't need to make up new "rights" that haven't existed before and then pretend our liberties are threatened when someone questions them.

  

 Joseph McCarthy Minimize

Traitor! Unpatriotic, un-American hater of all things that are good and holy! Go back to Russia you Commie Pinko traitor! They can have our tanks when they pry our cold dead hands from the thingie that makes the tank go.

  

 George S. Patton Jr. Minimize

Age: 60

Status: Married

Education: West Point

Goals: To walk, ride a horse, and kick some Russkie butt!

Current mood:

Listening to: These Boots Were Made for Walking

  

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