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 Captain's Blog Minimize

December 12, 2269

Will the future still be swinging?

I feel like the 60's is coming to a close. I've had a good run and could go on like this forever. But times seem to be changing. The Starfleet ombudsman has contacted me about charges of "improper behavior" with a young ensign. Plus admiral Reuter is angry about how I supposedly "Dishonored" the Tholian ambassador during negotiations.

I'm not sure I understand this new universe. Seems like if Starfleet didn't want us to touch the broads on this boat they wouldn't make their skirts so short. Hell, this is a five year mission and I'm a red-blooded American - oops I mean "Federation" officer. No one has ever complained before, or not in a way that anyone cared about.

And as to the ambassador thing, sometimes you handle these aliens the best way you can given the tools you've got on hand Those Tholians are hotblooded and asking for it anyway. I'm spreading goodwill throughout the galaxy baby, and sometimes I shoot from the hip  Besides, once you go green, for colored you're keen.


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 Captain Janeway Minimize

I'd watch it if I were you, we've had some pretty bad experiences with the mixing of the species here.


  

 Admiral Adama Minimize

Tell me about it, you have to keep to your own, things get out of hand pretty quickly.


  

 Captain Sisko Minimize

Sounds like you're all just a bunch of space racists.


  

 Captain Kirk Minimize

You tell 'em Benjamin. Ain't nothin' but a bunch of playa hatas.


  

 Commander Adama Minimize

I agree, in my day we didn't bother who slept with who, even when Starbuck was chasing Athena. A captain has more important things to deal with, like Wild West planets.


  

 Admiral Adama Minimize

Yes, but no one ever tried to mate with your cylons.


  

 Commander Adama Minimize

Actually we all experimented a little, it was 1979 you know. But at least we didn't go around calling ourselves Admiral.


  

 Captain Stubing Minimize

Commander Adama's right, you just got to let people do what feels good, that's a happy ship.


  

 Captain Picard Minimize

And diversity, that's very important to a ship.


  

 Captain Kirk Minimize

Don't preach to me Frenchie, you had Geordi blinded and moved to the back of the ship and Gainan was your serving wench.


  

 Captain Archer Minimize

What we need are more REAL Americans. Thing are getting way too ethnic around here.


  

 Captain Kirk Minimize

And just what the hell is that supposed to mean?


  

 Captain Archer Minimize

You know what I mean. Shatner. Greene. Christ, it's starting to look more like the trailer for "Jews in Space" around here.


  

 Spock Minimize

It would be more logical for you to be tolerant of differences in others. After all you tried so many "alternative lifestyles" on Quantum Leap.


  

 Commander Adama Minimize

Ooh, the verbal bitch slap. Way to represent my Hebrew brother.


  

 Spock Minimize

Am Yisroel Chai, Bitches, Am Yisroel Chai.


  

 Admiral Nelson Minimize

In my day we didn't have any of these problems.


  

 Captain Sheridan Minimize

That's cause your idea of diversity was rum, sodomy and the lash. I on the other hand have lots of Jewish friends, including the well spoken and polite Susan Ivanova, my best friend, really. she's great. I have lots of Jewish friends, they're all very nice, my good, good Jewish friends.


  

 Admiral Nelson Minimize

Whatever I had or did, I won the battle of Trafalgar.


  

 Captain Janeway Minimize

But conditions on your ships were appalling.


  

 Admiral Nelson Minimize

At least I didn't have my ship boarded and captured by the enemy oh I don't know - EVERY OTHER WEEK! In any real navy you would have been court martialed about 60 times.  I would have had you flogged around the fleet and then shot.


  

 Captain Janeway Minimize

But I always won my ship back through some clever ruse.


  

 Commander Adama Minimize

That's no excuse for a commanding officer. I would have had you court martialed in the first season.


  

 Admiral Adama Minimize

Yes, but probably during another dragged out two part episode. And probably on a wild west planet. I would have shoved her out an airlock before the third commercial break.


  

 Captain Janeway Minimize

You're all just sexist relics of an outdated patriarchy.


  

 Captain Kirk Minimize

Well, I guess the 60's really are over. And what's wrong with a wild west planet?


  

 Captain Crunch Minimize

Did someone call for a flogging? I love a good flogging.


  

 Captain James T. Kirk Minimize

Age: 42

Here for: A fight if necessary, but love when I can get it.

Status: Single

Orientation: Swinger, baby, swinger

School: Starfleet Academy

Graduated: Technically yes, despite any rumors you heard.

Current Mood: Horny

Currently Listening to: G Love and Special Sauce


  

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